Dirty Little Secrets

Occasionally when I get on facebook I’m not sure if I’m looking at my newsfeed or the U of A Confessions page.  If you have yet to visit this disgustingly fascinating chronicle of UA student blather, let me tell you, it is quite a treat!  It’s a personalized reality TV show that can be absorbed in blurbs averaging about 10 to 50 words apiece.  People anonymously submit their confessions to the page via SurveyMonkey and after about a day or so for the moderators to sort and post, voila, instant gossipy-goodness.  As well as entertainment value, there is the added benefit of a new sort of therapy for our generation. Due to the comment feature, an abundance of advice and ridicule is provided, free of charge.  The confessions are added to the page at times in a steady trickle and other times in rapid spurts.  Personally, upon noticing a varied bouquet of new posts, a solid 10-minute break from whatever I’m doing is required in which to stop and read until I’ve caught up.  They are about sex, drugs, and loneliness. Loved ones and hated ones.  Judgments about whole groups of people based on race, gender, Greek-life status, body types, and belief systems.  They are about really weird things you never wanted to know anyone has ever done.  They’re about Tucson lunacy and berating non-Wildcats.  Missed-connection dwellers and sappy do-gooders have a place to tell the world of their plights and awesomeness and high school clowns have an audience once more.  

Here are a few goodies:

Enjoy;)

“sometimes the campus wide broadcast of "bear down, Arizona" makes me feel like im in a 1984ish police state.”

"I can't stand people who think that being high automatically qualifies them to talk about theories of space, time, the universe etc. No, I will not listen to your theory that the whole universe is suspended on a giant taco, you uneducated fuck."

“If I live in the dorms is it safe to get a bottle of alcohol mailed to me in a package?”

(comments include: “Bar none the dumbest thing i have heard all day.”, “Can’t see any flaws here” and “Absolutely!”)

“If I get one more notification from DJ cypress posting about the aussie party I will fucking strangle someone!”

"My boyfriend won't stop playing online Yu-gi-oh.  Even for sex."

"I saw brother Jed at the grocery store and threw a cabbage at him. I'm not kidding."