Deep Life Thoughts About Bullshit and Candy

Freud believes that dreams are the key to unlocking the unconscious mind and discovering the treasure trove of hidden impulses, desires, or thoughts beneath.

Most people I’ve talked to think this is complete crap. The neuroscience textbooks tell me that dreams are nothing more than random images flashing through your brain in an attempt to organize neural firing of the day. My English teacher who believes himself not to be an English teacher but a great philosopher on par with Aristotle tells me that all of Freud and psychoanalysis is wrong and unfounded, so this dream theory must be flawed in some fundamental way. 

But I don’t believe this is bullshit.

Even if my dreams seem to have no semblance of meaning or outward relevance to my life (not a participant in orgies myself, last night I dreamt that I organized what must have been a six-some but was too bored to do anything other than sit in a circle staring at each person’s face), I always find myself trying to interpret their meaning. Sometimes they seem to be creative outlets, almost like the divine muses themselves are inspiring me and shouting, “Go write this! You might become famous if you only figure out an elegant way to write about the meaning behind seeing Snorlax everywhere!” But on the other hand, it might just be that Snorlax was just there, and I should probably tell the muses to suck it.

Either way, one can at least tell a great deal about someone from the way they interpret their own dreams. 

Years ago, I had a dream that still influences me today - and it was about candy, of all things, although I guess that is not very surprising for a ten year-old. In the dream, my all-time guy crush at my elementary school (the type that wore leather jackets and had black hair that he could push out of his eyes) ran up behind me as I walked up from the ocean, tapped me on the shoulder, and shoved several small piles of Kisses into my hands before running off down the beach. For any unenlightened folk, Kisses are the silver-wrapped chocolate candies with the shape of a tiny mountain which I love to bite the very top off of first. In any case, even today Kisses are my favorite kind of romance. They embody the childish hope of a first love, the playful double-meaning of words that invoke images of innocent kisses, and the serious adult obsession for candy. And I suppose I have this dream to thank for it - I don't know if I would have ever made the connection between those little candies and my idea of romance. So if you ever wonder why I might get a little giddy around Valentine's Day with the abundance of Kisses, now you all know. 

This is what I mean about the interpretation of dreams - that even a small, insignificant image can change the outlook and desires of waking life, years later. Maybe Freud had something on us here - he lists candy as representing the special treats in life, even sensuality and forbidden pleasure. While I'm not sure if I would go so far as to classify black-haired motocross-wannabe guy as a forbidden pleasure, on the whole it seems to fit in pretty well.

However, in my interest in dream imagery I have stumbled across some rather strange interpretations by Freud...

Ever dream you were making oatmeal? Well, apparently you need to re-interpret your interpersonal relationships - because it means that you are relishing in the control of a loved one's destiny.

If you were to dream that someone were to hurl you through a wall, Freud would suggest that the person is actually trying to help you get out and explore the world. But can't this just mean that some mean, hulk-like person wants you dead? Perhaps he has a tendency to be a bit too metaphorical at times. 

Finally, if you ever see an elderly, ugly woman in your dreams, specifically known as a "hag," do not run or be disgusted - rather, she is a blessing to your sexuality. She symbolizes nurturing and reproduction, so it might even be best to embrace the inner hag in yourself when you awake, according to proponents of psychoanalytic theory.

Although some aspects of dream theory do tend to ring as a bit ridiculous, I can't help but think that Freud was on to something. Perhaps dreams don't necessarily reveal unconscious desires and thoughts, but certainly what happens when we wake up and rub our scalps, wondering what the orgy could have meant, does reveal much about our characters. The best advice may be to simply continue on as we are - not prying into the depths of dream theory and our subconscious, nor to scoff at the muses and say, "It was just Snorlax, stop making such a big deal about it!", but to find a path in the middle, looking inward for our source of enlightenment.