Driving

Some thoughts about driving…

-Always remember the turn signal is not only your friend, but it’s my friend too. That lovely little blinking light gives me a precise warning of the intent to change lanes. It works much better than slowly drifting over the lines assuming it will all work out just fine.

-Have you ever noticed that old people tend to buy cars that are built like coffins? Think about how one would describe a late 90’s Buick or Cadillac. They’re big, bulky, usually boxy, and very plush on the inside.

-A sticker on the rear window depicting each member of your family is not even remotely cute. Please stop.

-There is a special circle in Dante’s hell for people who cut you off only to go slower than you were going. I’m not sure which circle exactly, but it has to be somewhere near the bottom.

-I hypothesize the height that someone’s pick-up truck is lifted directly correlates to how little self-awareness they have. I’m sure Freud would have plenty to say about this topic as well.

-Contrary to popular belief making a turn does not require a geologic age to complete.

-If you are too busy talking on, or playing with your phone to realize that the light has changed to green for the past 30 seconds then congratulations, you are the worst person on Earth.

-Finally, if ever in doubt about a certain action while driving stop and simply ask “does doing this make me an asshole?”